Vetting Criteria

Every member of CARNALIFE was vetted before they walked into their first event. This page says exactly what that means, because a process you cannot read is a process you cannot trust.

What happens when you apply

• You verify your identity. A government ID and a live selfie, checked through a payment grade identity service. We confirm you are who you say you are and that you are 18 or older. Nobody joins anonymously, including people we like.
• We check public records. Using your verified legal name, a reviewer searches public sex offender registries and, for Florida, public criminal records. We record the outcome, never a copy of the record. If something comes up, we tell you privately and give you seven days to respond before anyone decides.
• You give us a reference. Someone who knows you, ideally from the lifestyle community, who is willing to vouch for how you treat people. We contact them, and what they say matters.
• We talk with you. A short interview, by video or in person, about why you want to join and how you think about consent. There are no trick questions and no wrong amount of experience.
• A real person reads your application. Not a scoring algorithm. A reviewer reads what you wrote, checks the reference, and makes a recommendation. Approval is a decision somebody puts their name to.
• Couples apply as two people. Each partner applies, verifies their own identity, and names the other. We review you together, and approve you together.
• Approval, then dues. If you are approved, you choose a membership term and pay dues. Your access begins when they are paid, and your place is held while you decide.

The whole journey, from this application to your first event, is laid out in order on How Membership Works.

What we look for

We are reading for one thing above everything else: how you treat people. A history of respecting boundaries, taking no for an answer, and being honest about who you are and what you want. Experience in the lifestyle is not required. Character is.

What disqualifies an application

• Being under 18, or failing identity verification.
• Appearing on a sex offender registry.
• A record of sexual offenses, domestic violence, stalking or violent assault. We look at each one individually, and you will have the chance to respond first.
• A credible report of a consent violation, from a reference or from our community.
• Dishonesty in the application. We would rather hear the true version.
• Applying to buy or sell sexual services. CARNALIFE is not that, and the line is bright.
• A revoked former membership. Revocation is rare and permanent by default; a return is only ever through a full new vetting, and only where the Code of Conduct allows one.

About balance at events

Some events manage the balance of singles and couples, which can mean a waitlist for single men even when an application is strong. This is a capacity decision about a specific night, not a judgment about you. It exists because a balanced room is what keeps events feeling safe and social for everyone in them, and we would rather tell you that plainly than let you read rejection into a full category.

Discretion cuts both ways

We never confirm or deny anyone's membership, application, or attendance to anybody. The privacy we promise you is the same privacy we extend to every applicant, including the ones we turn down.