Code of Conduct
This is the current draft of the rules every member agrees to. It is under review by counsel and may be refined; the standard it describes is in force now.
1. Purpose and Scope
This Code of Conduct governs every CARNALIFE member, at every CARNALIFE event, in every CARNALIFE digital space, from the moment an application is approved until membership ends. It applies equally regardless of tenure, vetting tier, or role. No member is exempt, including reviewers and admins acting outside their staff role.
It exists because consent is infrastructure at CARNALIFE, not a formality members are asked to sign once and never think about again. Vetting decides who gets in. This document decides what happens after.
2. Core Principles
Consent is ongoing, specific, and revocable at any time, by anyone, without explanation. A yes to one act, one partner, or one moment is not a yes to anything else. Silence is not consent. A prior yes is not a standing yes.
Discretion is respect, not secrecy. Members do not out, photograph without consent, or discuss another member's presence, identity, or activity outside the space where it happened. This applies to people you like as much as people you don't.
Embodiment is a core value, not a marketing line. This Code applies the same way regardless of a member's body type, orientation, or relationship structure. No member is held to a different standard because of who they are.
CARNALIFE would rather lose an ambiguous case than let a real violation back in. Every rule below is written with that asymmetry in mind.
3. Consent Standards
Consent at a CARNALIFE event or in a CARNALIFE space means an enthusiastic, specific, sober, and freely given yes, checked for continuously, not assumed from a prior interaction, a relationship, an event ticket, or a membership itself. Purchasing a ticket or holding membership is never, under any circumstance, treated as consent to any specific act with any specific person.
Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Withdrawal, by word, safeword, or clear physical signal, ends the activity immediately. There is no negotiation period after a withdrawal.
Consent is specific. Agreeing to one activity, or with one partner, is not agreement to another activity, or another partner, even in the same scene or the same night.
Consent requires the capacity to give it. A member who is intoxicated past the point of clear judgment, asleep, or otherwise incapacitated cannot consent, regardless of what they agreed to earlier in the evening. Capacity is judged in the moment using all three available signals together, not any one alone: the member's own self-report, a staff member's direct observation, and a buddy-system check with whoever they arrived with or are playing alongside. Any one of the three raising a concern is enough to pause and check in before anything continues.
Safewords or an equivalent stop signal are required at any event involving impact, restraint, or intensity play. CARNALIFE does not mandate a single house system. Each scene's participants choose and agree on their own signal before play starts, on the condition that one exists and everyone involved understands it before anything begins. Participants who don't already have a system of their own are pointed to the traffic-light standard (red means stop immediately, yellow means slow down and check in, green means continue) as CARNALIFE's recommended default.
4. Member Conduct at Events
No photography or recording of any kind without the explicit, specific consent of everyone who would appear in the frame. This includes members in the background of a shot, not only the intended subject. Phones and cameras are expected to stay away during play in shared spaces unless a host has designated an explicit photo area with active opt-in.
No means no, every time, from everyone, without exception or negotiation. A refusal is never treated as an opening move. Pressuring, guilting, or repeatedly asking after a refusal is itself a violation, independent of whether the original request would have been acceptable.
Respect event-specific ratio and RSVP policies. CARNALIFE events set attendance ratios for safety and comfort reasons (Brand Bible Section 21.5, Business Plan). Showing up without an RSVP, bringing an unvetted guest, or misrepresenting your relationship structure to game a ratio is a vetting-dishonesty matter, not a minor etiquette lapse.
Respect the physical and emotional space of others. Entering someone's scene, commenting on activity in progress, or touching equipment, furniture, or another member's belongings without invitation is not acceptable, even when curious or well-intentioned.
Aftercare space is protected. Members visibly in aftercare, in a designated aftercare area or otherwise, are not to be approached, photographed, or engaged unless they initiate it.
5. Content Creation and Recording
CARNALIFE occasionally facilitates content creation scenes: organized photography or video, beyond the incidental personal-phone use covered in Section 4. This section governs those scenes specifically, and it is stricter than Section 4, not looser. Recording as part of an organized content scene is not a smaller version of the no-photography-without-consent rule. It is a separate activity with its own paperwork and its own consent layer.
Participation is voluntary and separate from membership. A member's vetting status, tenure, or standing on the platform never depends on whether they participate in content creation. No member is ever made to feel that declining a content scene affects anything else about their membership.
All required forms must be signed before any recording begins, not after. This includes, at minimum: a performer/model release, a scene-specific content consent form describing what activity will be recorded, and an acknowledgment of how the resulting content may be used and distributed. A shoot does not start until every participant's paperwork is complete. Verbal agreement on set is not a substitute for a signed form.
Consent to participate in a scene and consent to how the resulting footage is used are two different things, and are treated as two different things. A member can consent to being filmed and still set specific limits on distribution: internal/members-only use versus public release, face-blurred versus unblurred, specific platforms excluded. Those limits are recorded in writing at the time of the shoot, not negotiated after the fact.
Withdrawal of consent to appear in a scene, mid-shoot, works exactly like Section 3: immediate and without negotiation. A participant can stop a content scene at any point, the same as any other scene.
Withdrawing consent to appear is not the same as withdrawing consent to publish already-recorded footage, and the two are governed differently. As a matter of default contract law, a validly signed release granting consent to record and distribute, signed with real consideration and without fraud, coercion, duress, or impaired capacity, is not something the person who signed it can unilaterally revoke afterward just by changing their mind. That is the entire function of a release: it gives the other party certainty, and courts treat a signed release as presumptively valid, setting a high bar for undoing one.
CARNALIFE goes beyond that legal floor as a matter of policy, not legal obligation. A member may formally petition admin, in writing, to withdraw consent to further publish or distribute footage they already appear in. Admin reviews each petition and decides whether to grant it, weighing: how long ago the content was published, whether copies have already been distributed to or licensed by third parties outside CARNALIFE's direct control, the member's stated reason, and whether granting the request is actually achievable (CARNALIFE can pull content from its own platforms; it cannot retrieve a copy someone else already saved). Granting a petition is not automatic, and it is not yet a right written into the release form itself. — if this petition process is meant to be a binding right a member can enforce against CARNALIFE, rather than a discretionary courtesy, the underlying content release form needs its own explicit revocation clause drafted by counsel. A promise made only in this policy document, without matching language in the signed release itself, carries little legal weight against the release's own terms.
Discretion protections in Section 6 apply in full to content creation, and then some. A member appearing in CARNALIFE content is never identified by legal name, and any identifying detail beyond what the member explicitly consented to showing is treated as a discretion violation under Section 6, regardless of who caused it.
CARNALIFE staff overseeing a content scene are held to the same recusal standard as Section 8's enforcement staff. A staff member does not oversee, direct, or make decisions about a scene involving their own partner, metamour, or someone they are currently seeing.
6. Discretion and Confidentiality
Members do not disclose another member's identity, attendance, or activity outside a CARNALIFE space, to anyone, for any reason, including to other members who were not present. This includes social media, group chats, and casual conversation with people outside the community.
Members do not out another member's involvement in the lifestyle, kink identity, or relationship structure to anyone outside CARNALIFE, under any circumstance, even to people the member believes are trustworthy.
A member under review or investigation for a violation of this Code is never publicly named. The outcome of any investigation is shared only with the parties directly involved. This applies even after a member is removed.
These obligations survive membership. A former member remains bound by the discretion rules in this section for anything they learned or witnessed while a member.
7. Grounds for Suspension or Revocation
Membership can be suspended or revoked at CARNALIFE's sole discretion, at any time, for any of the following. This list matches the categories used in CARNALIFE's own enforcement system and is not exhaustive:
- Consent violation — any breach of Section 3 or Section 4's no-means-no standard, including a single incident.
- Safety incident — conduct that endangers another member's physical or emotional safety, whether or not it rises to a consent violation. Logged independently of any resulting revocation, so a pattern can be seen even when no single incident alone justified removal.
- Vetting dishonesty — lying or materially misrepresenting anything during application or vetting, including relationship structure, identity, age, health-verification status, or reason for applying. Discovered after approval, this is grounds for immediate revocation regardless of how long the person has been a member.
- Other — conduct that damages trust in the community in a way not captured above, at CARNALIFE's discretion. This category exists because a fixed list can never anticipate every real situation, not as a way to avoid stating real reasons.
8. Enforcement Process
A reported violation is investigated before any decision is made. CARNALIFE does not act on rumor or secondhand account alone; a decision is based on confirmed facts.
The reporting member's aftercare comes first. Support and resources are offered to the person who reported before any process concerning the reported member begins, and regardless of the investigation's outcome.
The process is confidential. Neither the fact that a review is happening, nor its outcome, is shared beyond the parties directly involved and the staff conducting it.
Removal is permanent by default. CARNALIFE does not offer an appeal of a revocation decision. Where reinstatement is possible at all, it requires a full new vetting process from the beginning, on the same terms as a first-time applicant, not a review of the original decision, and eligibility depends on the ground for the original revocation:
- A consent violation combined with a safety incident is permanent. There is no reinstatement path.
- A consent violation on its own is evaluated on whether the underlying conduct was a failure to honor a withdrawal (consent was given, then revoked mid-encounter, and the violation was not stopping in time) versus conduct where no consent existed at any point. The former may be considered for reinstatement through full re-vetting. The latter is treated the same as a consent violation combined with a safety incident: permanent, no path back.
- A safety incident on its own, or a revocation under the "other" category, is evaluated case by case at CARNALIFE's sole discretion.
- A single vetting-dishonesty finding with no safety component is eligible for reinstatement through full re-vetting.
Staff conducting the review recuse themselves from a case involving someone they have a personal relationship with. A reviewer or admin never adjudicates a report involving their own partner, metamour, or someone they are currently seeing.
9. Reporting a Concern
Any member can report a concern about another member's conduct, at any time, without needing to be the person directly affected. A report is taken seriously regardless of the reporter's vetting tier, tenure, or relationship to the person reported.
Reports are never minimized, joked about, or handled with any hint of the Hedonist brand voice. A report is met with the Guardian voice only: certain, unhesitating, and taken at face value until the investigation says otherwise.
A member who reports in good faith is never penalized for the report, even if the investigation does not substantiate it, unless the report itself is later shown to have been made in bad faith or with knowing falsehood.
10. What This Document Does Not Protect You From
This section exists because the distinction it describes is easy to get wrong, and getting it wrong is dangerous.
A signed liability waiver or consent form protects CARNALIFE and its members on the civil side. Florida enforces clear, well-drafted liability waivers for adults engaging in risky recreational activity (Sanislo v. Give Kids the World, Fla. 2015). Signing CARNALIFE's waiver is real protection against a civil lawsuit arising from the ordinary risks of the activity you agreed to.
A signed waiver, or the fact that an activity was consensual, is generally not a defense to a criminal charge. Florida criminal assault and battery law does not, as a general matter, recognize consent as a defense in the BDSM context. This means that if an incident at a CARNALIFE event rises to the level of a genuine crime, the fact that the people involved had a consent framework, a safeword system, or a signed form does not shield anyone from criminal liability, and does not shield CARNALIFE from having to cooperate with a criminal investigation.
The same caveat applies to every content-creation release form described in Section 5. A signed release protects CARNALIFE and its members on the civil and rights-of-use side. It does not turn a criminal act that occurs during a shoot into a lawful one.
This Code of Conduct, CARNALIFE's vetting process, and any consent form a member signs are community safety and civil-liability tools. None of them are, or are described to members as, a shield against criminal prosecution if an actual crime occurs. Any language anywhere in CARNALIFE's materials that could be read as promising otherwise needs to be corrected before this document is finalized.
11. Acknowledgment
Every member affirmatively agrees to this Code of Conduct as a condition of membership, separately from and in addition to any event-specific waiver signed at check-in. Agreement is recorded with a version and timestamp, the same evidentiary standard already used for the Terms of Service and liability-waiver acceptance described in docs/WEBSITE PLAN for Carnalife.md Section 3 (applications — "the accepted ToS/liability-waiver version and timestamp, tracked for legal defensibility, not just a one-time checkbox").
Participation in a content creation scene under Section 5 requires its own separate forms, signed at the time of that scene. Agreeing to this Code of Conduct does not substitute for, and is not substituted by, those scene-specific agreements.
Common questions
- When do I agree to the Code of Conduct?
- As part of your membership application, with the version and date recorded, and again through any event-specific agreement at check-in. Agreeing to it is a condition of membership.
- What is CARNALIFE?
- CARNALIFE is a private membership organization based in Tampa, Florida, serving the kink, fetish, BDSM, and sex-positive lifestyle community across the Southeast United States. Membership includes vetted events, education, coaching, matchmaking, and a venue marketplace.
- Is CARNALIFE a dating app?
- No. CARNALIFE is a private membership organization, and matchmaking through Carnal Affinity is one part of a larger membership. Introductions are made within a vetted community based on real compatibility, guided by our team. There is no swiping and no anonymous browsing.
- How do I become a member?
- You apply. Every application goes through the same process: identity verification, a reference who will vouch for you, and review by a real person on our team. Approved members pay dues and hold full membership. The vetting criteria are published, so you can read exactly what we look for before you apply.
- What cities does CARNALIFE serve?
- CARNALIFE is based in Tampa, Florida, and serves the Tampa Bay area first, with membership open to the lifestyle community across the Southeast United States.
- Is CARNALIFE the same as other lifestyle organizations?
- No. CARNALIFE is one membership covering professionally produced events, real education, one-on-one coaching, matchmaking, and a venue marketplace, under a single vetting standard and a single code of consent. Every member is vetted. Every event is curated.
Every member is vetted. Every event is curated.
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